Bowing Out
by Mystic Weaver
Summary: The 'I love you' from Through the Looking Glass from Jack's perspective. Was meant to be a Jate ficlet but probably looks more like a Skate. Because Jack's such a nice guy, bless him.


**Disclaimer**: If you recognize it, I don't own it.

**Spoilers**: Through the Looking Glass.

**A/N:** This can be seen as a Jate or a Skate oriented fic. I'm actually a Jater so if anyone would like another chapter that is more Jate friendly I'd be more than happy to oblige. Please forgive any typos or other mistakes, this is completely unbetad. Constructive criticism would be much appreciated :)

"Why're you sticking up for Sawyer? He'd never do it for you."

The question hung in the air and Jack fully felt the gravity behind her seemingly innocuous tone. She wanted what he had thus far been incapable of giving her- the truth.

Despite all their arguments about her being dishonest, withholding information, or just being a general enigma to him, he had been hiding the biggest truth. About his feelings for her. About how he watched her, how he felt for her and about just how much her gentle flirting got to him. 

Before he couldn't tell her because he was sure she didn't care like he did. He always found himself coming second. Even after they had shared that earth-shattering emotive first kiss she had run from him and straight to Sawyer. And then he had seen with his own eyes how much she cared for the Southerner, or else how little she cared about him. And it had hurt like hell. But he had gotten past it, if not over it.

He had done his best to see that she and the man she cared about got away from the Others. He had thought that that would be the end of the matter. Then she had come back for him, out of guilt for leaving him behind maybe.

But then there was the way she had looked at him, _Damn those eyes. _Those perfect greens watching him at the piano, silently pleading with him to stay on the island, tear-filled and apologising for something that Locke had done. He hadn't had the strength to look at her then, afraid of what they did to him and he found that he couldn't quite meet them now. One look from those eyes could be lethal, they made him want drown in them, to do whatever she asked just so he'd get an approving glance and he hated that feeling.

So he'd tried to ignore her, spending time with Juliet and not reading too much into it when she seemed to be flirting with him. He'd thought she was happy with Sawyer, as the days went by it became more and more evident that they were a couple. He told himself he didn't care, it didn't matter, and in any case he was busy thinking of other, bigger things.

Then there was today, where she had begun to look at him in that way again. The way she had looked at him their first few weeks on the island, as if he could do anything, as if he was the one person she had faith in. And his heart began to swell and he foolishly allowed himself to hope that there might be something between them again. Anything was better than this, this growing crack of estrangement that they kept managing to fall back into.

His hope was crushed, however, when he saw her expression just a few moments ago when Sawyer had told her not to come with him. And despite his immediate urge to be annoyed at the man for his lack of tact he understood completely where the Southerner was coming from. This was Kate. If anything were to happen to her he knew how he would feel, and if Sawyer was really in love with her like he claimed to be then Jack couldn't begrudge the man this decision.

This was why he had defended him.

Jack smiled briefly at the remembrance of himself, behaving similarly when she had wanted to come into the forest with them to negotiate with the Others. If she had picked up on the similarity by herself, that would be all the answer she needed.

But how could he sum all this up? How could he give her what she wanted without sacrificing himself? He knew if he let her know the full truth he'd be leaving himself open for her inevitable rejection. He met her eyes for a moment and the hurt that remained in them was enough to make the decision for him.

_She's in love with Sawyer. And __I love her. It'll have to be enough that she's happy. _

And so, without expectations or agenda, Jack told the truth.

"Because I love you." He told her, before walking away. Bowing out.


End file.
